Wombats 2 - Wombles 0

Much as the temptation is enormous, I know of no taunt capable of trumping England's own self-loathing. As word spread yesterday, and the afternoon papers clammered for a bruising headline, England re-aqainted itself with the pleasure of self-flaggellation. The London equivalent of Lateline spent 20 minutes interviewing sports psychologists to discover "what is it about sportsmen, and in particular English sportsmen, that makes them lose basic motor skills under pressure." Video reels of English sporting failure (drawn from a vast archive) rolled in the background. A mate emailed to say he was sad and angry. I sent back a joyful, though non-commisseratory, email. He shut me down with "ok ok we're shit - now i've got work to do."

So to work and other joys does the land of the early setting sun turn, quietly muttering about Australian egos and looking through scrapbooks of 1966 and 2005. One thing is for sure though, Shane Warne elicits as much respect on these shores as he does in Australia - watching a timid Hoggard and a taciturn Collingwood being interviewed the morning after, they'd clearly done their internal polling and figured Shane Warne was the most acceptable excuse for a fist waving English audience. "Shane Warne" was a stand-alone two word sentence of explanation.

Self loathing is England's best defence mechanism - even the most one-eyed Aussie here would think twice before verballing a sniffeling mess of a man. Just a pity it kicked in so soon - no fun in that dammit.