The cold water hater

File this under irrelevant. I have an office conundrum. I’m a simple man, and I like chilled water – it keeps me focused and refreshed through long work days in this HOT HOT country. But my penchant seems to be clashing with one of the more ancient inherited wisdoms of India: chilled water it seems is widely believed to be VERY VERY bad for you. Who knew!

Things have taken a turn for the worse in recent weeks and I find myself engaged in a silent Battle to the Death over the water cooler. Somewhere in the vicinity of the cooler sits a Cold Water Hater (CWH). First I found the cooler was occasionally turned off at the switch (I assumed it was a mistake).... then it started being unplugged (and I first sensed the intervention of the CWH)... today the plug itself was wrapped in electrical tape in a way that made connection with the electricity thing pretty much impossible. Sabotage! The warm water fundamentalists are taking over and I’m blaming the CWH.

I've googled to find evidence to substantiate the coldwaterisEVIL theory - nothing. But now I know why every waiter in this country asks if you want chilled or room temperature water. They’re scared of the CWH too! (Maybe they've heard the rumours about waiters being found in dumpsters wrapped in electrical tape). I had dinner with an otherwise sane bloke recently who insisted on warm beer.... mysteries wrapped in riddles, wrapped in electrical tape.....

On second thoughts file this under ‘India: answers are not there’.... It’s a large file.